Sunday, July 09, 2006

Exposé ( Not Really) #2: Really Obvious Post

No need for a title; as the joyous orgasmic cries of a million pasta makers and the foul curses in the language of love echo across the globe, it must be evidently clear what yours truly wants to discuss.

That was a rather awful opening sentence, but I'm still rattled (Yes! After nearly 9 hours, it still hasn't sunk in) that France lost. Yes, I also know that approximately 63, 234, 691 other blogs also revolve around this topic today, but honestly.

What the hell? WHAT THE HELL?

But let's start at the beginning. I'm not an avid soccer fan. In fact, if you take a look at my latest post I even mock the World Cup. Furthermore, when my cousins were discussing the match against Brazil and France (The odds were stacked on Brazil), I decided to say that I thought France would win for the sole reason of opposing them. Of course, I took great joy in rubbing it in their faces when my relatives grudgingly told me that France had won.

However, despite my strong aversion to sports, that didn't stop me from sitting my ass down in front of the television set and watching the finals, for it was France, the underdog for whom I had been cheering, against Italy. Having missed the first hour and therefore the only real goals of the game, I was forced to watch the torturously tedious yet intricate footwork that the players employed against each other.

I am not embarrassed to say that it took me about 10 minutes to even realize which shirt colour the French team was wearing. (I got it in the end, though.) But, despite my lack of expertise in the whimsical world of whacking a plastic air-filled ball around, I was very pleased to see that even though the official game time had been overrun, both sides had kept the match perfectly balanced. The game extended into overtime, and Zinedine Zidane (A name that the world must surely be familiar with now) continued to amaze me with several spectacular shots that seemed to just miss the target, thanks to superb Gianluigi Buffon, Italian goalkeeper.

So of course I was unpleasantly surprised when the camera suddenly swerved away from the game and a replay clip began showing in slow motion.

"What the hell? I don't want to see this," I groused as the image of Marco Materazzi, also a midfielder, passionately clutching Zidane to his chest as they pranced around the field appeared on the screen - just kidding. However, Materazzi did have a restraining hand on Zidane's chest as they watched the action offscreen. Words were exchanged and then suddenly - suddenly! Zidane turned around and re-enacted a much more violent counterpart of the Paso Doble upon unfortunate Materazzi.

Oh.

"WHAT THE F-"

You get the idea. The rest of the action sped by so quickly I could barely take it in stride. Zidane gets a red card from the referee, gets walked off the field, strangely composed, the situation ultimately cumulating in France getting its croissant-and-baguette-loving derriere thoroughly trumped by those pesky Italians. Damn them and their sinfully delicious pasta and pizza!

So the questions I am confronted with are:
1) Why did Zidane do that? (Besides having severe issues with anger management and possible cranial damage from previous headbutting incidents.)
2) Why did he look so calm afterwards? He might as well have just handed the freakin' Cup to the Italians.
3) What the hell is up with Camoranesi's hair? (Actually, this question was answered about 5-10 minutes after the match, when he snipped it off to my horror [and then I realized that he was a guy so it wasn't such a big deal.])

With the last question dealt with, I soon found my answer online. Apparently, Zidane had been verbally assaulted with racial slurs (Oops, I nearly typed "sluts"! No big difference, really.) free of charge from Materazzi, which is why he slammed his head into the Italian's solar plexus. Not exactly the most tasteful approach to the situation, but we can't turn back the hands of the clock, can we?

Now, I am conflicted. Was I right in becoming angry at Zidane for acting so rashly and giving the Italians a leg up onto the prize, or would I have done the same in his position? Is such patriotism unnecessary? Can pride for your own country be something that nobody should ever violate under any circumstances? Is this post pointless?




I don't know anymore. I just kind of wanted to bitch about France losing. Hee hee!

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

1) He was actually saving Materazzi from a very angry bird.
2) Because he was recently diagnosed with Multiple Personality Syndrome.
3) It's the Italian's way to share their happiness for winning. A strand for a smile. :D

12:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

omg...i was reading your other posts about provincials (they amuse me :P) when i realized that i think i put my scantrons in the wrong booklets too!!!!! yes. notice the plurals. do you think my teachers are so nice as yours and would flip through so many exam booklets in the search of my answer sheets? I. DON'T. THINK. SO. oh goodness.

i'm prepared for a big fat F. in many of my provincial marks.

why didn't i read your posts earlier?

p.s. how did you friend know that you've put your sheet in the wrong booklet?

1:35 PM  

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