Exposé (Not Really) #3: Tough Decisions

So I was standing in the shower this morning, trying to wash the stupidity of this world off, when SOMEBODY in the house flushed a toilet and I was immersed in cold water for approximately 5 minutes or so. Just goes to show that no matter how hard you scrub or how much soap you use, the idiocy always comes back.

Now I'm off topic. Re-do!

So I was standing in the shower this morning when I began wondering about just what my short life had amounted to as of lately. As you probably have noticed, I'm pretty quick to judge. My love of first impressions is only overcome by a stronger love of acting upon them. I'm also pretty damn sure that cheesecake is probably the best thing ever. However, have I really experienced enough of the world to decide that?

I've been told that sex true love is the undisputed champion of best things ever. However, as I don't believe I've had the "privilege" of realizing the "wonderous existence" of that state of mind, I will just have to ASSUME things about it. I still heartily disagree, though.

So which is better?

...TIME FOR A FACE-OFF!!!

CHEESECAKE PROS:

1. Cheese and Cake; the best of two worlds.
2. Tastes so very delicious.
3. The strawberry type has little red swirls in it that hypnotize you as you savour each and every melting bite.
4. Possibly the 8th world wonder.
5. Is the best comfort food...EVER.
   

CONS:

1. Is the carrier of a million sinful carbs and each bite will probably be regretted at a later date.

TRUE LOVE PROS:

1. Is "Good", apparently.
2. You probably get to casually flash a diamond ring off at the nearest coffee shop.
3. You probably get to casually show off your fiancé(e) to jealous friends.

CONS:

1. You have to learn to deal with his dirty socks on the floor/her hordes of make-up in the bathroom.
2. He farts at dinner/She has inexplicable headaches at certain times.
   
3. Things get boring.
4. He becomes fused with the couch at the butt/She becomes fused to the phone at the ear.
5. You realize that there's a world of difference between "before marriage" and "after marriage".
6. The longest sentence ever is "I do".
   
7. You have the pleasure of watching your spouse gradually wither away into nothing.
   
8. Divorced in 4 months!

So there you have it. Pros: 5 to 3, Cons: 1 to 8. Cheesecake wins out against true love. Who would've known!?

Exposé ( Not Really) #2: Really Obvious Post

No need for a title; as the joyous orgasmic cries of a million pasta makers and the foul curses in the language of love echo across the globe, it must be evidently clear what yours truly wants to discuss.

That was a rather awful opening sentence, but I'm still rattled (Yes! After nearly 9 hours, it still hasn't sunk in) that France lost. Yes, I also know that approximately 63, 234, 691 other blogs also revolve around this topic today, but honestly.

What the hell? WHAT THE HELL?

But let's start at the beginning. I'm not an avid soccer fan. In fact, if you take a look at my latest post I even mock the World Cup. Furthermore, when my cousins were discussing the match against Brazil and France (The odds were stacked on Brazil), I decided to say that I thought France would win for the sole reason of opposing them. Of course, I took great joy in rubbing it in their faces when my relatives grudgingly told me that France had won.

However, despite my strong aversion to sports, that didn't stop me from sitting my ass down in front of the television set and watching the finals, for it was France, the underdog for whom I had been cheering, against Italy. Having missed the first hour and therefore the only real goals of the game, I was forced to watch the torturously tedious yet intricate footwork that the players employed against each other.

I am not embarrassed to say that it took me about 10 minutes to even realize which shirt colour the French team was wearing. (I got it in the end, though.) But, despite my lack of expertise in the whimsical world of whacking a plastic air-filled ball around, I was very pleased to see that even though the official game time had been overrun, both sides had kept the match perfectly balanced. The game extended into overtime, and Zinedine Zidane (A name that the world must surely be familiar with now) continued to amaze me with several spectacular shots that seemed to just miss the target, thanks to superb Gianluigi Buffon, Italian goalkeeper.

So of course I was unpleasantly surprised when the camera suddenly swerved away from the game and a replay clip began showing in slow motion.

"What the hell? I don't want to see this," I groused as the image of Marco Materazzi, also a midfielder, passionately clutching Zidane to his chest as they pranced around the field appeared on the screen - just kidding. However, Materazzi did have a restraining hand on Zidane's chest as they watched the action offscreen. Words were exchanged and then suddenly - suddenly! Zidane turned around and re-enacted a much more violent counterpart of the Paso Doble upon unfortunate Materazzi.

Oh.

"WHAT THE F-"

You get the idea. The rest of the action sped by so quickly I could barely take it in stride. Zidane gets a red card from the referee, gets walked off the field, strangely composed, the situation ultimately cumulating in France getting its croissant-and-baguette-loving derriere thoroughly trumped by those pesky Italians. Damn them and their sinfully delicious pasta and pizza!

So the questions I am confronted with are:
1) Why did Zidane do that? (Besides having severe issues with anger management and possible cranial damage from previous headbutting incidents.)
2) Why did he look so calm afterwards? He might as well have just handed the freakin' Cup to the Italians.
3) What the hell is up with Camoranesi's hair? (Actually, this question was answered about 5-10 minutes after the match, when he snipped it off to my horror [and then I realized that he was a guy so it wasn't such a big deal.])

With the last question dealt with, I soon found my answer online. Apparently, Zidane had been verbally assaulted with racial slurs (Oops, I nearly typed "sluts"! No big difference, really.) free of charge from Materazzi, which is why he slammed his head into the Italian's solar plexus. Not exactly the most tasteful approach to the situation, but we can't turn back the hands of the clock, can we?

Now, I am conflicted. Was I right in becoming angry at Zidane for acting so rashly and giving the Italians a leg up onto the prize, or would I have done the same in his position? Is such patriotism unnecessary? Can pride for your own country be something that nobody should ever violate under any circumstances? Is this post pointless?




I don't know anymore. I just kind of wanted to bitch about France losing. Hee hee!